When I was a junior in High School I was a Jr Lieutenant for my High School Drill Team. To ‘bond’ before we went to Officer Camp over the summer all the officers cooked dinner for our directors and had a sleep over at our Director’s house. After cooking dinner, watching some questionable reality MTV dance show, and staying up way too late we were all tucked in sleeping bags, on couches, and or in chairs and then we all start talking. What I remember most vividly about those conversations is one particular thread. We all started talking in these weird baby high pitched voices and started composing ‘letters’ to people/inanimate objects/places etc. Example: “Dear MTV, Please get better fake dancers for your shows. Sincerely, Katherine” Get my drift?
Well I was thinking about that earlier this week, I have no idea why, and I began to think in mini letters for a while… I have decided to share some of them with you.
Thank you for making hilarious shows that make me laugh uncontrollably.
Dear Makers of Kong dog toy products,
Squeaker tennis balls were a great invention, keep up the good work.
Dear Law Professors,
Stop. Just stop. Please just stop.
Dear Guy at the Chick-fil-a Drive through,
Sorry I don’t think your number next to my request of “light ice” is going to make me want to call you. Plus, you’re in high school.
I am continually amazed and impressed.
Dear Diet Coke,
We need to break up. But I might occasionally cheat on water with you.
Dear Texas Grass,
Owww! You itch like the devil.
The new buzzer in your game is weird.
Dear Alarm Clock,
Why do you want to get between my bed and I? Jerk.
See what I mean? It’s actually quite fun! You should try it! Go on…. try it, I promise you’ll like it!