Marriage. It’s been on my mind lately. No, I am not engaged.
I do not think I will be getting engaged anytime soon. Maybe soon. Well not soon. How do you define soon? I need to shut up.
Forget all that.
I grew up with clashing ideas of marriage. First I am one of the Disney Princess generation. The happily ever after, the glass slipper, the castle, the marriage that you only see the very beginning of but from all the glitter and candles you know it’s going to be perfect. The other view is the complete opposite. My parents are divorced, they got divorced when I was two, and that is all I grew up with. I never had the happy family scenario that other kids talk about or the sitcoms portrayed.
I thought I was okay with all of this, with the clashing ideas of marriage. The beautiful beginning and horrible ending. But it turns out I don’t think I am.
I’ve seen many people get married in the past couple of years. I’ve seen the joy and the excitement. I see the flowers, and the love notes, and the late night tv watching on facebook and instagram. But I’ve never seen the fighting, the arguing, the eye rolling, the dirty laundry on the floor, or the dishes in the sink. I guess you don’t whip out your phone to snap a photo of an argument and you sure as heck don’t post it on instagram if you do.
Then after all these happy beginnings I’m seeing, I’ve become aware of problems in people’s marriages around me. I’ve overheard issues that are turning spouses against each other, that are making one extremely depressed, and it seems the other just doesn’t care. I’ve heard cheating allegations and emotional abuse heartbreak. It seems to me I am seeing the horrible endings.
I don’t believe in marriage. Well, I started to think I didn’t. I couldn’t wrap my mind around how this beautiful covenant that God created could turn out so bad. I thought surely this is not what He wanted for us. I started to think that instead of finding happily ever after you could only hope to find happily sometimes after.
But then I thought that while God is perfect, we are far from it. How can two imperfect people have a perfect marriage? I don’t think that’s possible. And I think recognizing that is the key to a
perfectmarriage. The key to a marriage that glorifies God and that makes those in it happier.
I am not married so I’m in no position to give marital advice. I will leave that to those in that special union but I would hazard a guess that realizing that marriage is a promise to your spouse that you are going to love, honor, and respect them every single day. It is a covenant that you are going to do that, and everything the vow entails every.single.damn.day. That can only be described as hard work. But I imagine it as work that only makes your life better, work that you are happy to do.
I don’t believe it’s a promise that every day is going to be a good day or that you’re not going to be cranky but it is a promise that you will try your very hardest to not cause your spouse pain. That you are going to put God first, your spouse second, and yourself third. The minute you forget that or your spouse forgets that is the day your marriage needs a major overhaul.
I don’t believe there is such thing as a perfect marriage. I would rather call it an imperfectly perfect marriage. So yes, I believe in marriage.
Do you believe in marriage?
all photos via pinterest