Juice it, Juice it good

I did a juice cleanse. And it sucked. It was only three days and I wanted to quit after the second juice on the first day. Why did I try this? Well it was on my bucket list and I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, some of it. (Stupid me) I did the cleanse courtesy of Life Juice, which I got a screaming deal on the cleanse courtesy of Ru La La.

There are 5 different drinks that you drink every day. Let me break them down for you.

1) Sole – which is basically water, lemon juice, and sea salt. I could have done without the salt. I also drank this like a lizard with my tounge sticking out because it was salty. 
2) Positive Balance- this has spinach, kale, parsley, cucumber, celery, beets, apple, carrot, ginger, and lemon. First off you can taste the celery, apple, and carrot. Second I started to think about food. 
3) Oh My Greens (you drink this one twice)- spinach, kale, parsley, cucumber, celery, apple, ginger, lemon. I could barely get the whole juice down. The second time around I couldn’t drink it all. 
4) Bodacious Bunny- carrot, apple, ginger, and lemon. Disgusting. 
5) Happy Belly- purple cabbage, parsley, apple, ginger, and lemon. Sick. Did not make my belly happy.

Things I thought during the cleanse: How can you reduce actual veggies to juice? Why does one taste overpower the other? Ugh celery is way better with ranch. Damn I really want some pasta. How much longer is this going to take? Damn those cheese-its look good. WHY ARE THERE DONUT HOLES IN THE OFFICE?!?! I never want to eat vegetables again. This smell is going to make me puke. Bread. Did I just have a dream about eating a steak? I now remember how much I hate apple juice. How do you juice purple cabbage?

Have you ever done a cleanse? Any suggestions for a cleanse I could actually stick to?

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  • Rachel Murphree

    I don’t think I could live through a juice cleanse either. I like eating.

  • Atthepinkofperfection

    Omg you crack me up! I juice and love it- but I have my own juicer and use way more fruit than I’m supposed to. My husband wants to do the juice fast, I say hell no. I juice for lunch a few days a week, and that’s enough. I’m proud of you for sticking with it- kudos!! :) Soooo…what did you eat first? Haha

  • http://duchessofplumewood.blogspot.com/ Katherine

    Amen! Maybe I should go more for the clean eating, it got to be I didn’t want to drink the juice so that’s probably why I lost weight!

  • http://duchessofplumewood.blogspot.com/ Katherine

    Pasta! It was sooooo good! I was trying to justify getting a juicer but after this no way jose! I’d probably use all fruit!

  • http://blog.stephaniecourt.com/ stephanie court

    This is hilarious. And so perfectly timed. We recently got an awesome juicer as one of our wedding gifts and so far I’ve only used it to make sweet yummy stuff like apple-pomegranate juice and blueberry-pear. Just this morning I was thinking about doing a three-day juice cleanse that I recently read about. Besides all the negatives and thoughts of food (“Did I just have a dream about eating a steak?” – priceless), did you notice any benefits from the three days? Weight loss? More energy? Basically, any reason why I *should* do it. 😉

    PS – Just found your blog through Postcards from Rachel!