Presently Speaking


Feeling: Overwhelmed. Law School classes, Clinic cases (I’m now Guardian Ad Litem to 3 different kids), and cases at the District Attorney have been taking a toll on me. And my sleep schedule. And not to mention my to do lists have been growing.

Reading: Well I just finished The Hive with the Duchess’ Book Club and now I’m choosing between 1 of 12 new books I have. I love that I have so many choices! 

Listening to: Katy Perry: Dark Horse & Roar. Add in a little Taylor Swift: Haunted & Last Kiss. Both inspirational and depressing. My mind and my heart are pulling me different directions. 

Thankful for: My mom. Being a Guardian Ad Litem to these kids have made me so thankful for everything my mom did for me as a kid. Also for the extra wake up call this whole experience is giving me. I know I am totally not prepared for a child and probably won’t be for a while. 

Thinking about: My bed. I’m so tired I just want to crawl under my down comforter and pass out at like 8PM tonight. Which probably won’t happen since I’ll be watching Downton but I’m sure I’ll be sleeping in tomorrow! 

Eating: Girl Scout Cookies. I bought a whole mess of Shortbread and Thin Mint boxes this past weekend with my mom and grandma and I am so excited it is Girl Scout cookies time of year! I stick my think mints in the freezer and force myself to ration them out! I’m actually happy to report that the rationing is working!

Watching: Downton Abbey & Sherlock. I got them on iTunes and the whole of Downton Abbey was released so I’ve been steadily working my way through the season! And this Sherlock’s season has been the best yet! The Sign of Three was probably THE BEST episode yet. I want to watch it again… and I will. 

Loving: The cold weather! There have been multiple days below 40 this week and I love all the layers I get to put on and that my coats and scarves are getting use! Please keep the winter going Punxsutawney Phil!

Looking forward to: My first weekend in my apartment since right after Thanksgiving! I plan on getting things done and knocking out everything on my to do list (see the Feeling paragraph) and spending some quality time with Netflix. 

What’s up with you? 

all photos via pinterest… I told you I was overwhelmed
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What’s so special about snail mail?

In the age of twitter, text messages, and emails there are some people who haven’t bought a stamp in years! I say get out that stationary and sit down and write a letter! Why? Because letters are so much more special than any electronic communication! See why…

What’s so special about snail mail?

1. You focus on what exactly you want to say. There isn’t any oh no I wish I could delete that! Your words become more special and thoughtful because the person reading this letter knows you meant every single word!
2. You spend time on the letter. The time you spend writing the letter and mailing the letter let’s the recipient know that you were thinking of them that whole time and that they are worth your time! 
3. The joy the recipient receives when they get something other than advertisements or bills! Half the time the ads go straight in the recycle bin but people get excited when they get a letter that has no other reason for being in their mailbox except to bring a smile to their face. 
4. There is a satisfaction you get when you mail something. It’s very fulfilling to know that you put something in a mailbox that has nothing to do with returns or have-tos but it’s a want-to!
5. Letters last. Letter are something that people save and look back on later in life. People probably won’t read through their emails when they’re 85. 
Are you fans of handwritten letters? Or do you prefer email? 

PS writing at least one handwritten letter a month was on my Birthday Bucket List this year! I’m rocking it so far! 

photos: 1/ 2
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Breaking up is hard to do…

As weird and horrible as it sounds I fully believe that bad breakups are good for you. Let me hit you with my definition of a ‘bad breakup’. A bad breakup is one in which you either gorge yourself or can’t eat, cry continuously for days, and have to change his name in your phone to DO NOT CALL, JERKFACE, or SHOULD BE KILLED. Yes, those kinds of breakups. The ones where you feel like someone has ripped out your heart, poked it with sharp sticks, and ran it over with a truck. 
Now before you sharpen your pitchforks because you want to Gaston-me for thinking that having your heart trampled is a good thing, hear me out. Or at least give me time to run away…

I’ve been here and let me tell you it really does suck and I am so incredibly happy that it happened. An ex and I had been together for 5 years when we both realized we were trying to keep something together that was a train wreck. We were sick of trying to pretend like that long distance thing was good for us. We were trying to keep something together that was already broken. We had become addicted to the ‘presence’ of each other, addicted to this assured love being in a relationship brought, but not addicted to each other. So we ended it. And in the next two minutes I’m pretty sure I went through a million different emotions: anger, sadness, denial, regret, embarrassment, heartbreak and so on. It didn’t matter that it was pretty mutual or that deep down I knew it was the ‘right thing to do’ it still sucked. Then for the next month it was pretty much the same thing. 

After that month of feeling like my heart was in a blender, ideas slowly started to dawn on me. These revelations that everyone gets at the end of a month long breakup bender are why I truly believe they are good for you. 

1. You realize why the breakup happened: fights, different beliefs, unresolved concerns, or different life plans. It wasn’t because you weren’t pretty enough or skinny enough. It wasn’t because you aren’t ‘lovable’.

2. You learn you can be independent: you learn that you’re strong and that a boy does not define who you are. You see why all those women in the 60’s were burning their bras! You learn that you can thrive in life without a man and you can *gasp* have fun without a partner!

3. You learn what you need in a relationship: you see if you need someone who can take your crankiness in the mornings or someone to just listen without trying to fix the problem? Do you need him to show that he will really ‘leave and cleave’ or perhaps that you will be his first priority? You learn that there are needs that you require that are nonnegotiable. 

4. You learn what you value in a partner: you learn if you need a calming presence or someone to get you out of your comfort zone. Does it mean more to you when your partner gives you flowers randomly or when he always takes out the trash? Do you want them to be honest and completely open or do you want someone to protect you from the ugly in life? Or maybe a bit of both? 

5. You understand that a relationship means teamwork: it cannot be just one person that tries to make the relationship grow. A healthy partnership requires two people to work. If at the end of the day you’d rather give up than work to be with that person then it’s not right. A relationship is a pas de deux, it takes two people moving in sync with each other, supporting each other, making the other look good, with total dedication to make the dance deserving of a standing ovation. 

After becoming a more self-aware person through this crappy time you are ready to find that person who is willing to work with you, learn with you, grow with you, respect you, and love you for the rest of your lives together. 

So let’s recap. Go through hell for a little bit to find happiness? Deal. That’s a good thing in my book. 

PS if you need some happy if you’ve just been through a breakup peruse this
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Jamaica II

The town of Negril was pretty small and low key, read not much tourist stuff, but we did manage to find some shopping. While it wasn’t the trip where I ended up drunk in a foreign wal-mart at midnight, it was interesting to see and experience the Jamaican experience. And then of course the beach jewels and neon t-shirts that say One Love Jamaica. You got to have both worlds… 

See the other Jamaica pictures here

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Weekly Wishes

My last weekly wishes basically went down the drain because I got the flu so working out and going on long walks was shot since I could barely get out of bed. I did pack my bags for Jamaica about an hour before I left because like I said I couldn’t exactly lift a suitcase. 

This week my wishes are: 
1. To have all my reading done on time
2. Organize my closet
3. Watch My Cousin Vinny and go see Frozen 

Yes seriously #3 is on my list. 

What are your wishes for the week? 

The Nectar Collective

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