Yall this week has been rough. I mean ROUGH. I haven’t even had any ruff (aka Winston) to cut the rough. Wow, worst play on words ever. I got in an accident yesterday on my way to Austin and then I had to turn around because I had to go to the police station and file a police report because the driver of the other car fled the scene without stopping or even checking to make sure I was okay. I’ve been drowning in paper and stuff that I haven’t dealt with since the beginning of finals in April and the subsequent start of studying for the bar. Then after the stress and weight of the bar was off my shoulders I had time to really look at my personal life and realized that it sucks. Just depressing.
I thought that actually having time to think about my life was going to be awesome but it’s really just depressing.
I talked a few months ago about Mistakes v Lessons and if there is really a difference and now I cannot seem to stop focusing on mistakes I’ve made or think I’ve made. Then there’s those awful times where I think someone else is making a mistake but you can’t do anything else but let them make it because they don’t believe you or don’t trust you.
How do you forgive yourself for the mistakes you’ve made? How do you forgive other people for the mistakes they’ve made? Are there sometimes that you just can’t forgive someone?
Is forgiveness a conscious choice or is it an emotional state? Are there times when it starts off as a choice and morphs into the other?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
1 Corinthians 13:4 – 6 NIV
Perhaps forgiveness isn’t so much about absolving someone of the hurt they caused you but it’s recognizing how they hurt you and realizing that you care for them or love them more than the hurt they caused you.
Perhaps there are sometimes when it’s all you can do to push the offending party away because all you can think about is the hurt or the broken trust but what you should be doing is letting them show you that they are sorry. Not just apologetic but deeply sorry. Perhaps it’s that you realize your life will be a happier place because they are still in it than a sad, confusing, lonely place when they aren’t.
Forgiving yourself is a different matter. Most people love themselves so how recognizing that you love yourself more than the shame or embarrassment you caused yourself isn’t the factor. Maybe it’s realizing that everybody falls. Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody. To err is human… Man is flawed. Quite possibly it’s recognizing that it’s the mistakes that make you who you are. It’s the fall that give you the determination to push on.
So how do you forgive? I think each person has there own avenue to forgiveness, of themselves or others but the important think to remember is that many people have forgiven much worse of others. Jesus forgave the people who killed him and they didn’t even apologize! Does that seem a little more intense than your hurt?
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
Matthew 18: 21-22 NIV
So today before you head out for the weekend I urge you to forgive someone who has hurt you. Or forgive yourself for a mistake you made. Forgiveness will never make you unhappy and I’m betting 10 to 1 that it will make you happy.