10 Things NOT to Do Tomorrow

photo via

So on cupid’s day please please please DONT

1. Get your loved one a workout tape. It basically says you’re body needs work. Let’s just say your face will need work after you get slapped. 

2. Go on a first date.  Pick a different day, this either screams that you’re going too fast or that you don’t own a calendar. 

3. Wear all black and shoot people in love ugly looks. Awkward! Let people have their love drunk day, you can scribble weirdly in your notebook later. 

4. Get drunk and call your ex. This applies every day not just on Valentine’s Day. Just delete that phone number. Bad breakups are good for you. 

5. Make obnoxious social media posts about how you’ll be coupled up this time next year. That’s weird and makes you seem like a desperate psycho. You’ll end up marrying someone before you’ve known them a year and people will talk about you behind your back. 

6. Get your loved one absolutely nothing. Even if you say no gifts, a bouquet of flowers or case of beer is the MINIMUM. 

7. Think ‘dinner and a show’ means pizza and a monster truck rally or tofu and the Vagina Monologues. Be nice to your date or they will spend the whole date thinking about how you’re a huge mistake. 

8. Discuss how love is just chemical reactions in a very loud voice. Nobody cares about your cynical views or your PHD in Chemistry… 

9. Break up with your date. That makes you the lowest scum on earth. 

10. Propose. Make another day special for the love of God. Just don’t do it. Just don’t. 

What are other things you should just stay away from tomorrow? 

~

  • http://bywayofberlin.com/ By Way of Berlin

    #1 is hilarious and #5 is so true. I cringe every year when I see these posts come up in my feed.

    Happy (early) Valentine’s Day!
    xx Nina