Just to prove to you that I don’t have my sh*t together… as if you thought I did hahahaha
1. I had to ask my mom if you pay for dry cleaning when you drop it off or pick it up because apparently at 26 I don’t know the answer to that myself…
2. A defense attorney called me ‘the Duchess…’ awesome
3. The waitress told me to ‘enjoy my meal’ and I said “you too” #goodone
4. One of my coworkers caught me taking a selfie, and it wasn’t a coworker who would know what the term selfie is.
5. I was talking to a guy that Winston “accidentally” ran up to in the park and then my trusty four-legged sidekick let one rip. Very. Loudly.
6. My little sister had to tell me that bae isn’t short for baby. It stands for before anything else. Gee I’m old.
7. I stood to make an objection in court and when I tried to sit down my rolly chair moved and I fell on my butt. I kept my mouth shut so it’s not on the record…
8. A well meaning person held the elevator door open for me… when I was like half the hallway away so I had to run… in heels and a pencil skirt or make weird eye contact while I take the time to walk. You’re nice but just go dude, just go.
9. I was grocery shopping and I ran into someone by the bananas, then the milk, then the soda. I just chilled in the soda aisle so they could get away #stalker
10. My mom yelled loudly across a clothing store “NO that dress would make you look like death!” Thanks to my mom everyone in that store now know that khaki makes me look like a corpse.